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HE-HAW!! In Texas we say "Just a visit"

 
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HE-HAW!! In Texas we say "Just a visit"
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J.KIMMELLY
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Top Ten Things Overheard During George W. Bush's Vacation


10. "This vacation is flying by -- only 33 days left"

9. "Dang, Springer's a rerun"

8. "These margaritas are weapons of mass destruction"

7. "Whoever's in charge really screwed up the economy"

6. "My God! Mars is coming right at us!"

5. "Don't worry, George. In 17 months, you'll have the longest vacation of your life"

4. "Better start making stuff up for the State of the Union Address"

3. "I'm itching to declare another war"

2. "Proceed with 'Operation Letterman.' Make it look like an accident"

1. "Sitting around doing nothing reminds me of being president"
===============================================

A first grade teacher is explaining to her class that she is a Republican. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Republicans and support George W. Bush. All but one little girl raises their hands. "Mary," says the teacher with surprise, "why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not Republican," says Mary. "Well, what are you?" asks the teacher. "I'm a Democrat and proud of it," replies Mary.

The teacher cannot believe her ears. "My goodness, Mary, why are you a Democrat?" asks the teacher. "Well, my momma and papa are Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too," Mary responds. "Well," says the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents.

What if your momma was a criminal and your papa was a criminal, too, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "then we'd be Republicans
===============================================
Bush

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question:

Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves.

Helms immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb cracker."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair."
=============================================

The above captioning was brought to you all Courtesy Jackass-Productions..HEEE-HAW
Tue Sep 28, 2004 3:18 am
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