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pcs
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uniquec
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POLITICAL HUMOUR

Post by uniquec »

George W. Bush's Resume

George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500

Past Work Experience

Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments in Previous Positions

Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.

Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments As President

Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in U.S. history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in U.S. history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history (the 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
First president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
First president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the human rights commission.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).
All-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, and in less than a year made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).
With a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
Fist U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive.'
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the U.S. has ever been since the Civil War.
Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
Records and References

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (they can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)
Source: Kelley Kramer







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Kinky-Dan

Or 'RATHER' we might say.. Cock and Bull SNIPES

Post by Kinky-Dan »

Image..................."I'm giving Sadaam 48 hours to git out of town."
(or)
"Well- ah, back in the old west they had posters which said 'Wanted Dead or Alive', well-ah,
that's what I'm saying. I want Osama bin Laden, dead or alive."
(or the comical)
"The reason the Muslims are still around is, we haven't played Cowboys and Muslims yet."
( and who can ever forget his response when asked why not give a tax break to the poor, instead of the rich )
"Well-ah, that's just not the way I think."

( or these quotes from http://www.columbiacentral.com/dubya/ )

Dubya Says........

Home of the George W. Bush quote library


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You don't need to be smart to be president"
--Republican Congressman J.C. Watts - said at a February campaign appearance on Bush's behalf. Washington Post, 6/11/00

"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."
--U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 2000

"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning"
--Florence, SC, Jan. 11, 2000

"Actually, I -- this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about -- when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."
--Hardball, MSNBC, May 31, 2000

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
--Reuters, May 5, 2000

"I think we agree, the past is over."
--On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000

"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometime until we get an objective analysis."
--Meet the Press, April 15, 2000

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
--Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000

"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations; their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal cufflink."
--Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000

"The fact that he relies on facts -- says things that are not factual -- are going to undermine his campaign."
--New York Times, March 4, 2000

"It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature."
--Los Angeles, Feb. 23, 2000

"I understand small business growth. I was one."
--New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000

"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"
--Explaining the need for educational accountability, Beaufort, S.C.,Feb.16, 2000

"
rexb
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Post by rexb »

Bush is the best president since Reagan, and he doesn't have inappropriate relations with interns in the white house. Capisce. :evil:
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Post by DANK_NUGGETZ420 »

i dont see why getting a BJ under the desk is that big of a deal. clinton wasnt the best pres, but doing that showed me that he is indeed a real man. hell if i was married to hillary i'd be mackin with the interns too
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Post by pcs »

Reagan was a senile front man for the extreme right wing.
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Post by Ian Kogneato »

rexb wrote:Bush is the best president since Reagan, and he doesn't have inappropriate relations with interns in the white house. Capisce. :evil:
[-X When Clinton lied - no one died!

:-s Clinton screwed around with an intern. ----- Bush is screwing America and other countries as well!

[-o< I hope that there are only a few people left that would actually defend Reagan. Due to the fact that he was a better actor than president, I could almost understand that he had some supporters.

But Bush winning a second term? :o
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Rove...

Post by erobertg »

Well, I see Rove leaving soon.

Bush will be like a headless chicken. :lol:
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Post by rexb »

Ahgh, it appears of late, or too often that democrats and republicans ultimately lead down the same path, welcome to the global community of the new world order, cafta, nafta, european constitution, Euros, etc. Pretty soon we'll have Amerigos for money on the western continent. Governmental control à la extrême? But they do claim certain differing views to rally support for their "faction" -though it may not always be there main motive-in my humble opinion.

ps-It is rumored that Clinton had people around him dropping like flies back in Arkansas, for more reading go to:

http://etherzone.com/body.html

And of course some claim "those in power" may have contributed to 9/11, Anyway that's enough for now, who knows what to believe and if anything could be done if it were true.

Rex
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CaLLe
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Objectively Speaking

Post by CaLLe »

From an independent voters point of view...

:lol: Bush is dumber than a rock! :lol:

And unfortunately I voted for him on the first term. My reason...

I thought Gore was an idiot for not knowing how to spell tomato (Tomatoe.)

:-? Know ai realyse Boosh dosent now haoh too spel anithyng!! :-?

Next term I'm voting for 8) AHHHNOLD!!! :x GET DOUUUUUNNNN!!![/b]
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Re: Objectively Speaking

Post by RadioGeek »

[quote="CaLLe"]...unfortunately I voted for him on the first term. My reason...

I thought Gore was an idiot for not knowing how to spell tomato (Tomatoe.)...

That really is too bad. Especially because it wasn't Gore that couldn't spell "tomato", but rather Dan Quayle, George Bush Senior's Vice President who couldn't spell "potato."
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Correction Accepted.

Post by CaLLe »

My bad, it's been a while but I knew it was something like that.

Bush remains dumb as a rock :D
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jfk gwb

Post by rexb »

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Post by pcs »

What a waste of a perfectly good camera (and expensive one).

Terrible photo and a terrible subject :)
Best regards,
Marko - PCS Electronics
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http://www.pcs-electronics.com
fax +386 4 2316 128
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Post by rexb »

yeah, surprised kerry's smile didn't bust the camera =D>
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