Polish joke

[pcs]

>A Polish man married an American girl after he had been in America a year
> and although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well. Until
> one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
> divorce for him- "very quick." The lawyer said that the speed for getting a
> divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following
> questions:
>
> LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
> POLE: JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home, 3 bedrooms.
>
> LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
> POLE: "It made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.
>
> LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
> POLE: "No," he replied, "We have two-car carport. Don't need grudge.
>
> LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
> POLE: "All my relations in Poland."
>
> LAWYER: "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
> POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set &DVD player with 6.1 sound. We
> don't all the time like the music, but I answer yes."
>
> LAWYER: No, I mean does your wife beat you up?
> POLE: NO, I always up before her.
>
> LAWYER: is your wife a nagger?
> POLE: NO, she white.
>
> LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce?
> POLE: SHE going to kill me.
>
> LAWYER: What makes you think that?
> POLE: I got proof.
>
> LAWYER: What kind of proof?
> POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on
> shelf in bathroom. I can read-- it says, "Polish Remover."

[uniquec]

An elderly Choctaw couple was driving back from visiting their neighbor when the old lady wondered if the geese they had been given were safely put away in the pickup bed. "Hey you got dem goose?" she asked her husband.
"Quit your cussin'" he said.