trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse
went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself
in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun
to shoot the snake.
"Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot. I'm an enchanted
rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you
want."
The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the
snake's striking range. He said, "OK, first, I'd like to have a face like
Tom Cruise, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally,
I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding."
The rattlesnake said, "All right, when you get back to the bunk house
you'll have all three wishes."
The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the
way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside
to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark
Gable. He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling
muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger's. Really excited now, he tore
down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted..
"My God, I was riding the mare!"
..............A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers,
which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been
stolen. He goes back into the saloon, handily flips his gun into the
air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot
into the ceiling.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MA HOSS?", he yelled with
surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER BEER AND IF MA HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE
BY THE TIME I FINISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T
LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked
outside, and his horse is back! He saddles up and starts to ride out
of town. The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say, partner,
before you go...What happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
HEEHAW...HEE HAW
