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Engineering Exam
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Antler
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Joined: 29 May 2004
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Location: Somewhere between the RJAA and EHAM airports

Post Engineering Exam Reply with quote
Subject: Engineering Exam


We are sick and tired of hearing redneck jokes about people in the South.

We are actually extremely smart and challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam administered by the University of Georgia EngineeringDepartment:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A '65 Ford Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet Chevelle or a '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The densityof the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow withan average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

Now you smartelec yankees, figur them there out... if you uns can! Dumb yankee...You'd mess up a soup samich!
Wed Feb 02, 2005 4:59 pm View user's profile Send private message
erobertg
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Post Red Stater... Reply with quote
oh no, a Red Stater...HeHah...
Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:19 pm View user's profile Send private message
Antler
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Post Reply with quote
Yes sir, with passion! BTW, I moved from Fall River thirty five years ago and never looked back.


Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:52 pm View user's profile Send private message
erobertg
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Post Fall River? Reply with quote
Fall River...As in Massachusetts? You don't even miss the Cape?

Actually it is rather cold up here...Looking maybe to New Mexico.

Die Hard Massachusetts Liberal
Thu Feb 03, 2005 10:45 pm View user's profile Send private message
Antler
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The cape and clam bakes (New Bedford, Falmoth) were fun along with the one week of summer in late August. Also, I do miss the sailing down around Newport (I was a member of the Navy yaght club) and walking around the commons in the summer. Leagals' chowder is the best in the world and the fish is always good at the Charthouse.

What I don't miss is the taxes, the the weather (every third day snow) and the traffic.

I like the warm weather and barbq these days so I don't think about Mass much. (I still get up there several times a year)

Cheers!

Ps. New Mexico is very cool. Especially up between Chama and Pagosa Springs. If my wife could take the altitude I would retire there.
Fri Feb 04, 2005 12:06 am View user's profile Send private message
Antler
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Joined: 29 May 2004
Posts: 90
Location: Somewhere between the RJAA and EHAM airports

Post Reply with quote
A Few Engineering Translations

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won Ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash:
1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel & smacking the pavement:
1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God:
1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because its less filling:
1 Lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone:
1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine:
1 semicolon

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line


453.6 graham crackers:
1 pound cake
Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:57 am View user's profile Send private message
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